


Coffin Nails

by Daegaer



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: Cigarettes, Dragons, Friendship, Gen, Humour, Travel, sleeping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-07
Updated: 2010-10-07
Packaged: 2017-10-12 11:53:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/124561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daegaer/pseuds/Daegaer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Someone is taking Gojyo's cigarettes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coffin Nails

It all started innocuously enough. Gojyo kept running out of cigarettes, but that wasn't exactly a rare occurrence. He was a heavy smoker, after all. Time and again Hakkai would give him that look, the one that suggested that maybe, if he possibly didn't want to die of lung cancer before he was thirty - not that Hakkai had anything to say about people's personal choices, oh dear me no, ha-ha - he might like to scale back down to a mere one pack a day. Gojyo'd never met anyone who could pack so much into one look. Except for Sanzo, of course, but his looks were usually accompanied by guns in the face.

 _Sanzo_ , Gojyo thought, tapping out a cigarette and finding only flakes of tobacco. Mr _I wouldn't touch your low-tar pieces of shit if they were the last cigarettes in China_ was stealing his cigarettes. So this was what the vow of poverty came down to. Well, two could play at that game. He casually leant across and snagged one of Sanzo's smokes.

 _Shit._

He could have sworn the monk hadn't even moved, but for the satisfied way the bastard was smirking, the way his entire hand felt like it was going to fall off, and the sound of the crack of the fan still ringing in his ears.

"Bastard monk!"

The fan vanished and the gun appeared. Gojyo blinked. He still wasn't sure he'd seen Sanzo's hand move.

"Ah, forget it."

"Why d'you smoke anyway, Gojyo?" Goku said through a mouthful of what Gojyo realised with belated outrage was _his_ dessert. "I bet the girls don't like it. Hakkai says kissing a smoker is like kissing an ashtray."

"Oh, he does, does he?" Gojyo said darkly, glaring at Hakkai. "I don't think he'll have need to complain about that anytime soon."

"Ha-ha," Hakkai beamed cheerfully, like no-one believed _that_ would happen.

"I'm going to bed," Gojyo said in annoyance.

 

* * *

 

He was woken by the sound of stealthy movement in the room. Hakkai, he thought muzzily. Why the idiot couldn't just put on his glasses instead of sightlessly blundering round trying to sneak out to the toilet, he didn't know. The stealthy movement became louder, more like claws scratching.

 _Skritch skritch skritch._

Hakkai, he thought, suddenly fully awake. Hakkai was having a nightmare. That was never good. He slid noiselessly from his bed and crept to Hakkai's side, feeling for the light switch on the wall over the bed.

"Hakkai?" he whispered. "Are you OK?"

The scratching noise stopped as the light came on and Jeep blinked up at him innocently. Gojyo took in the shredded cellophane, the flakes of tobacco adorning Hakkai's bed and the fact that Hakkai's damn dragon seemed to have been rolling in the remains of his last pack of smokes like a cat who'd found a stash of catnip.

"You little shit!" he yelled.

"Tsk, language," Hakkai said, seemingly in his sleep.

"Shut up!" Sanzo roared from next door.

Gojyo made a grab for Jeep, who seized the last remaining unshredded cigarette in his mouth and flew up to perch on the curtain rail, where he ate it with great delicacy.

"Hakkai!"

"Shut _up!_ "

"Wuzz?"

"Jeep's eating my cigarettes!"

"I've had it! You're both dead!"

"Sorry, Sanzo!" Hakkai called politely. "We'll be quiet now." He looked round short-sightedly, finally rummaging out his monocle and peering round the room. "He's just sitting there," he whispered.

"Take a look at your bed," Gojyo whispered grimly. Up on the rail, Jeep blew a tiny, perfect smoke ring. "Come down here, you little --"

Sanzo hammered on the wall.

"Oh, my," Hakkai murmured, looking at the ruin of the cigarettes. "It's probably all for the best, Gojyo, it's a filthy habit."

"It's your dragon's filthy habit!" Gojyo shouted. "You owe me about a hundred packs of cigarettes, Hakkai."

"He didn't eat _that_ many," Hakkai said disapprovingly.

"No, some he just eviscerated and rubbed all over his scaly little body," Gojyo said. "Buy me more."

"We'll discuss it in the morning," Hakkai said firmly, as Sanzo made his intent of hammering right through the wall very clear. "Jeep, come down here and apologise to Gojyo."

"Kyuu," Jeep said, landing neatly in the tobacco and chewing another mouthful of it with interest.

"I'm going back to bed," Gojyo said in disgust, flicking off the light once more.

"Goodnight," Hakkai said cheerfully. "Good boy, Jeep."

"Kyuu."

Gojyo lay fuming, belatedly registering the complete lack of surprise Hakkai had shown and even more belatedly connecting it with Goku's earlier remarks. Damn thieving lizards and their damn sneaky owners. He could see a long, bleak, nicotine-deficient trip ahead of him. It was a vision that demanded only one possible reaction.

He really wanted a smoke.


End file.
